The Kids We Help

Children In the Court System through no fault of their own

Who are these kids who find themselves in the family court system?  The child, age birth – 18 years, typically has been removed from their home due to abuse or neglect by a parent or caregiver.

Right now, here in New Hanover and Pender Counties, there are about 500 children who have been taken into DSS custody because of abuse or neglect.  One a day, on average, come into the child welfare system. They are placed with foster families, relatives, or in group homes.  Some are eventually reunited with their families; many are permanently placed with relatives. Some are adopted and others may remain in foster care.

80% of the children served are under 12 years old.  35% are younger than 5 years old.  In 2005-2006, 86% of our children came into the system because of neglect (a parent may not be maintaining the child’s safety, ensuring medical needs are met, or providing proper care or  supervision; the child may be in an environment injurious to their welfare. Such as failing to feed a child or leaving a child alone for an extended time). 11% are supported by DSS because of dependency (where the parent or caregiver can no longer provide care or supervision) and 3% due to issues of abuse (physical, emotional, sexual).

A Child explains:

We are publishing this "poem" with permission of the lovely 15 year old who wrote it. She wants all the GAL's to understand that even though she has been safe and happy and now adopted, the hurt never ends. Her mother scarred her forever and it took her years to get it out on paper and by doing that, start to heal.  

                                              I Thought We Were a Family 

 

I thought we were a family but how could we be if you were not there.

I thought we were a family that would always be there in the time of need.

I thought we were a family where were you when I was crying.

See I remember the time when I was only 5 and had to take care of my little brother.

I thought we were a family when you took me to my grandma’s and said you would be back

          for me the next  day it was a year later.

I thought we were a family but how could we be when you would come home with your eyes

          red, telling me you were over my grandma’s telling her that you needed to do better

          but I knew that was a lie.

I thought we were a family when I loved you and I thought you loved us but now that I’m 14

          I can really say I don’t see you.

I thought we were a family when you didn’t come home on Christmas Eve or on Christmas

         day so right then I knew Christmas was over for us.

I thought we were a family out of food so the only thing we had to eat was bread or

         bologna.

I thought we were a family I would pray every night and ask, God why did I have to go

          through all of this

I thought we were a family when you said you would be home the next day to get my

          brother and I ready for school  I would have to get us ready for school every day.

I thought we were a family but now that I am 14 I can say I was wrong.

I thought we were a family when needed someone to hold me tight and say Shantay don’t

          cry it’s going to be alright.

I thought we were a family being alone I was sad, scared, mad at myself but I don’t know

          why.

I thought we were a family a family that loves shares with each other who would always be

         there for you know matter whats going on in the inside.

I thought we were a family you told me a forum heart can be loved but a broken heart can

         not, well am here to tell you my heart is broken and needs to be repaired.

I thought we were a family but now I can say that I do have a very special family that God

         has blessed me with.

Statistics Show the Problem

Every day 3 children in the United States die from neglect or abuse; every 47 seconds a child is abused or neglected; and every two minutes a child is molested.

Child abuse is the number one killer of preschool children

One child in three will be sexually abused before age 18; 75-80% of these sexually abused children will be abused by family members. 85% of abusive parents were abused as children. 

Juvenile courts are a processing point for more than 800,000 children each year who are confirmed victims of abuse and neglect.  Today, there are more than a half million children in foster care, 65,000 parents see their parental rights terminated each year, and more than 2.4 million grandparents are raising their grandchildren.

According to a 2008 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention:

• About 1 in 50 U.S. infants are victims of nonfatal child abuse or neglect in a year
  
• Nearly a third of the infants were one week old or younger when abuse or neglect occurred
  
• 68 percent of those cases were attributed to neglect
  
• Neglect is defined as failure to meet child's basic needs -housing, clothing, feeding and access to medical care - not new parents making rookie mistakes